Drowning Without You
by JemilyMerDer
Summary: After 'Lauren' JJ comes back from Paris with a huge confession for Will. ONE-SHOT


**A/N : **

**This one shot fic is specially dedicated to the lovely Anne- Sophie, who's been wanting some JJ/Will drama lately, of course involving some jemily action. Hope you like it sweetie! :D**

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><p>JJ parked at the porch. She was emotionally drained, it had been a long flight, full of unwanted emotions. She took her keys out of her bag and headed to the front door, there was no way she was ready for the comfort the southern detective would give her. Luckily his car wasn't parked, which meant he was probably at the gym or something. The blonde felt some sort of relief running through her veins, she just wanted to be left alone for a little while.<p>

She opened the door and headed to the kitchen, opened a bottle of wine and a glass and headed to the living room. She sank in the couch and closed her eyes, letting the headache take whole of her. Suddenly memories started to trigger in her head. Painful, happy memories she wanted to forget so badly, she wasn't ready to suffer the way she would for an undetermined time.

_"Good luck." The blonde said and watched Emily walk away. While she was giving her the envelopes her hands brushed slightly, which sent shivers to the younger woman's body._

_She couldn't let the brunette walk away just like that. She stoop up and followed her, she was heading towards the Eiffel Tower. _

_Once she reached the tower she saw the brunette walking toward a hotel, a luxurious one. She followed her and saw how the older former agent asked if there were any messaged left for her, the man from the reception shook his head and gave her a piece of paper, where she wrote something down. Once Emily was out of sight the blonde walked towards the same man and he gave her the piece of paper._

_"Room 536, 4th floor" read the paper, the man nodded and she headed to the elevator. Once in the floor she looked for the number on the door. It was dark so it took her a while to find the correct room. Once she found it, she knocked._

_She didn't have to wait long before the door opened. The blonde saw the brunette walk towards the night table, where there was a glass of wine half drank._

_"Emily ... What's going on?" _

_The blonde asked, her voice was shaking, Emily had barely spoken at the café, and that freaked the blonde out a little bit, Yes the brunette had always build up walls around her, like a defense mechanism, but this was different. JJ wanted nothing more than to talk to her friend, she needed to know that the Emily Prentiss she knew and loved would still be there once she left Paris._

_The brunette woman looked up and stared into those deep blue eyes of her best friend. She took a step closed and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's waist. Her mouth was dry, she was desperate to say so many things she had been feeling for at least two years. She finally found the strength to speak up._

_"I couldn't leave without telling you this... Jayje, I love you."_

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><p>"JJ, sweetheart I'm home." The southern detective yelled.<p>

The blonde profiler came back to reality and stood up, heading to the kitchen.

"Hey babe, how was the flight. How was Paris ? Lots of work ?" Will asked again.

He suddenly realized the way his girlfriend's face had dropped from a tiny smile to a sad and distant look.

The blonde didn't want to talk about Paris, not to him at least. She wasn't sure how the man would react, those were really painful memories now that she was far away from that city.

She was glad her son was staying at her parent's, she was exhausted. Her brain was aching, so many things were running through her head at the same time. Confusion, love, sadness, pain, nostalgia. Than short trip she made didn't end up like she expected.

"Oh, it went okay. I guess. " The blonde answered coldly.

Will noticed the change. JJ hadn't been the same since Emily died, she was distant. She stopped talking like she used to, the sparkle her eyes once had was lost. The only thing that would bring light to those eyes was Henry and her boyfriend knew that.

He understood that losing a friend, a best friend was hard. And even harder being away from her friends, but he wished that JJ would open up about it, she wasn't the same. He knew, but didn't want to admit that this change started to happen before the brunette passed away. It all started when she was transferred to the State Department. It was something she didn't want.

He was thrilled about the idea of spending more time with his family. It would be a new opportunity for them, but it only brought problems. They started fighting because JJ missed her job, she missed her other family. She wanted to go back but knew is was no longer a possibility.

And then Emily died. That crushed her. It had been a month since that happened; she had received a call from her boss telling the blonde had to go to Paris to a confidential encounter. Will had no idea who JJ's boss was talking about, of course JJ did, and she was happy with the news, she was actually smiling before she left. The thought of seeing the brunette again, even if it was for a few days made her happier that anything else.

"Are you sure. You look rather upset. Did something happen?" Will asked and wrapped his arms around JJ's waist. He kissed her on the cheek.

This only made the blonde uncomfortable and triggered more memories she was trying to bury deep down.

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><p><em>"Jayje, I love you." The brunette said before leaning closer and capturing the blonde's lips with her own. <em>

_Emily regretted right away until she felt JJ kissing her back, eagerly, hungrily. The kiss grew hotter and hotter. Emily slid her tongue and the blonde profiler opened her mouth willingly letting her tongue crash into Emily's. Once the need of oxygen became too much they broke apart. The brunette couldn't stop looking at those beautiful blue eyes in front of her, she knew her heart belong to JJ right away after the kiss. The blonde wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist and held her into a tight embrace. _

_JJ pulled away and guided Emily to the bed. They laid down holding each other tight, neither one of them wanted to let go off that perfect moment they both knew would have to end sooner or later. They both knew it was too good to be true._

_After a hot make out session, Emily fell asleep before the blonde, who took in all of the brunette's beauty. She knew how much she would miss that moment. She knew that this will only bring painful memories if she never saw Emily again._

_The next morning came fast and they both woke up. JJ headed to the shower and Emily waited for her to come back. Once that happened the brunette realized the blue eyed woman was crying. Before she could say anything JJ spoke up._

_"My plane is leaving in two hours and I don't want to leave you. I want to stay here and hold you for the rest of my life." The blonde sighed and managed to make the sobs come to an end. After taking a deep breath she continued, her voice still shaky and about to break. "I can't imagine my life without you Emily, I love you, I really do and the thought of not seeing you ever again terrifies me like hell." _

_The brunette walked towards her and kissed her lovingly, tears streaming down her own face. _

_"You will see me again JJ, I promise, someday we'll meet again. I want you to stay too, but we both know that is not possible. You have to go back to Henry, he needs his mommy." The brunette said, sadness evident in her voice._

_"How long before I see you again? Emily I swear I can't live without you!" The blonde was sobbing again and the brunette's heart broke in a million pieces._

_"I don't know how long, after all this is over and I know you're safe. I can't live without you either JJ. But we need to do this." _

_JJ simply nodded and headed to get her suitcase. She smiled sadly at the thought of leaving and never coming back._

_"Then I'll see you someday. I love you Emily Prentiss." JJ kissed her tenderly, pouring all her emotions to it, God know when they would be able to kiss again._

_"I love you too Jennifer Jareau, we'll keep in touch somehow, I promise." The brunette kissed her once more and JJ walked out the hotel room. _

_That was the last time JJ saw Emily._

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><p>"JJ, are you okay, you went somewhere far away from here." Will said and kissed her on the cheek once more.<p>

The blonde pulled away and started crying. Will immediately worried and followed the blonde towards the living room. She was pacing around barely breathing.

"Jennifer, talk to me damn it! What the hell happened in Paris that made you act like this."

Will was yelling by now, he was worried and the lack of communication was killing him.

"Nothing happened Will! I'm emotional, that's normal in women you know."

The blonde snapped at him, she was annoyed about how he made it all so big.

"Yeah, you've been emotional for over a year now! And even more since Emily died, just get over it okay? She's gone, there is nothing you can do. That bastard killed her and it was horrible, but crying over her won't bring her back!"

The southern detective was storming out and letting all his feeling out, he knew it could be dangerous, but it had been too long since he wanted to say all those things.

JJ looked at him, shocked. She knew he was mad and all that but she expected him to understand that losing a friend will never be easy.

"You think I wanted to work at the State Department? Of course not! I'm unhappy there Will, I really am and I want to be back at the BAU every single day. And you think it's easy to lose a friend because a fucking bastard killed her ? No! It's not and you know why? Because I loved her, I love her ! There is not a single day I don't think about her. About the things I should've said and I will never be able to! That I love her, that she's the love of my life and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her!"

Will was shocked at the confession, he never saw that coming. His heart broke into a thousand pieces while hearing the blonde's speech.

"Are you saying that you actually love her, and that all the time you spent with me you'd rather spend it with her? I can't believe it, JJ are you saying you're gay? " He was near tears by now.

"I ... I don't know what I am, I just know I love her. I love you too, but not the same way, I love you as the father of my son. But if she was alive I would rather be with her? Yes, because I loved her and I will never get over her death. I want her back Will.

He simply nodded and headed to the guests room. He wasn't planning to get out of there until the morning when they both were calm, then they would discuss the future of the relationship and their son. He left with tears streaming down his face.

The blonde grabbed her laptop and quickly emailed someone. She couldn't hold back the tears anymore, she wanted Emily and no one else.

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><p>Emily was staring down the window of her hotel room, thinking about JJ. She wanted to be with her.<p>

She headed to her laptop, when she opened it and saw she had a new email. She opened it and smiled when she saw it was JJ's, after reading it, she fell apart and burst into tears.

The email read _"I'm drowning without you. JJ" _

The brunette cried all night long. She was, after all, drowning without JJ too.

**Anne- So, hope you like it. It took me a while but the ideas finally came to me. Love ya !**


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